A Christmas Eve Visitor

  Stanley Park Squirrel 
  Originally uploaded by L_Barnes.

On Christmas, children listen carefully, hoping perhaps to hear the pitter patter of little feet, sounds of reindeer or Santa's elves. For them, such sounds are thrilling. For adults, not so much.

Paul found a guest staying in the sun room of the third floor apartment that he was renovating this summer (but didn't finish before the term started and so has been staying with me). The guest had demolished all the plants and made a complete mess. It really is a struggle to keep this old house from being completely overtaken by nature--during the summer there were instances with birds and bats. And now the squirrel.  Paul called me rather panicky. I said I'd be right over. He called again and asked me to bring some nuts. "Mixed? With cashews? Roasted?" I was much more amused than he was.

Paul was using a mop handle and a screen to shield himself from the squirrel. The squirrel was remarkably stupid--preferring to hide in the curtains rather than follow the trail of delicious nuts out the door to freedom. So, Paul would poke the curtain, the squirrel would jump out, Paul would scream, I would trip over something, and the squirrel would run back to its hiding place.

Paul said that he kept thinking of Chevy Chase movies and worried that this whole affair would end with him having a rabid squirrel attached to his face. I called the police. They don't handle this kind of thing.

We left with the door to the backporch open and a trail of nuts leading out. Or leading in, depending on your perspective. Shoot, now there are enough nuts out there on the floor for a party. Welcome, Christmas squirrels.

Comments

[Paul]

I know it is a breach for Paul actually to comment on Paul's Old House. Don't worry, I won't ruin the fun by correcting factual inaccuracies that make it funny. But in the spirit of the holiday season and the love we humans have for anthropomorphism, I am led to consider how this squirrel was human. All too human.

Mr Squirrel must have crept in behind the back of a contractor following the pleasure of discovery. When aren't we humans getting ourselves in deep trouble either by following our immediate pleasures or, indeed, the pleasure of discovery? Mr. Squirrel had managed to get the screens off of the windows and was gnawing like crazy right where the latches were to open the windows. Not bad, I must say (though he has TRASHED the woodwork). Finally, once the door to freedom opened and he was literally half way through it (more than once, in fact), Mr. Squirrel had second thoughts and ran the opposite direction. Human. All too human.

[Anthony Paul Smith]

Great story. As a kind of hippie I saw make friends with it. He doesn't trust you and with good reason! How many of us have run over his kind?

This reminds me of a squirrel who lived a hollowed out part of a friends porch. He got so used to us he would sit near us as we drank our beer and we were all really polite with him, allowing him to pass by remaining still and unthreatening when he wanted to go down (this was the forth floor of an apartment building). The only disturbing part is that every time he went into his home he had to crawl over the decaying body of his former roommate. That was really disturbing actually. But there is no good or evil in nature.

[Patrick J. Mullins]

I put my comment in the wrong box, but I hope I also will have opportunities to call the police tonight. It matches some of the dissonant techniques one needs for the season. Christmas flabbergasts people, and I know all about why it does. I have spent my life on this, and people should pay me for this information, but they are too worried about Wall Street bonuses and don't know during Xmas Eve night and Xmas Day that they will forget about Tiny Tim by December 26 if they have to go back to work...

[pebird]

Ha! Our family's Xmas Eve tradition (5 years running) is to watch good ol' Christmas Vacation.

SQUIRREL, SQUIRREL!!

[phillwv]

In Oz (Aus) we have overgrown rats called possums - just like squirrels but not as cute. A creature, like seagulls, quite at ease in the burbs.

One did a Santa on us, entering the house via a soot-caked chimney, delivering us from deep sleep in fear for our lives.

Confronting our burglar generated a cyclone of fur as it treated everything like a tree, finally deciding on the floor-length curtains.

White walls, sooty black feet & fur: total repaint.

[Scott W.]

They are mammals just like use. The scripture refers to them as creatures or beasts, with the word "nephesh" which means having a soul (mind, will, emotions). My wife and I have been feeding wild and domesticated animals for about 7 years now and really love it. There are rewards that come with caring for the creation that exceeds the normal rewards of helping others. God meant for man and creature to be together in the Garden, and man was not designed to eat animal meat, instead we're designed to eat grains, nuts, vegetables and fruit. I have weird beliefs when it comes to eating animal flesh. I still think about the first squirrel I killed, it haunts me to this day. I'll never intentionally kill another animal. God Bless all of the creatures. Happy Birthday, Jesus of Nazareth.